“Friends is a word we use everyday, most the time we use it in the wrong way.”
There are many people on social media with an enormous amount of friends and followers but you get the feeling they are lonely. (I mean, how many selfies do you need to take?) They look popular and that’s what having all those friends on Facebook and all those followers on Twitter does well; make someone look important.
But life isn’t about how important you look, it’s about who you are. I believe we all want to have and want to be real friends. Someone we can trust and be trusted. That’s why it’s important for us to know that the people drawn to us is a reflection of ourselves.
The best way to be a friend that is genuine is to look within. Here’s what you need to keep in mind.
A real friend embrace the real you. It doesn’t matter what you can and cannot do for them. What matter is you understand that they are there for you no matter what. They are the ones when the world is walking out on you they will be walking in. There is no need to try to be someone you’re not in their presence.
Distance and years apart isn’t a factor. No matter how long it’s been since the last time they talked or seen each other, real friends treat each other the same. They pick-up right where they left off. With all that’s going on in their life they have the ability to overcome it and be there for one another.
They are great listeners. A good sign you have a real friend is how they listen. They look you into your eyes while you’re talking. You will notice them nodding their head occasional acknowledging you. What they have to say comes second to what you have to say. They listen to understand and not just waiting to speak. You can tell them anything and you KNOW they won’t go repeating it.
They respect your me time and understand the important of solitude. The quality of your life is what they aim to help you achieve. They don’t want you to be loyal to them only, but to yourself first and foremost. They will encourage you to take care of yourself and will never stop caring for you when you withdraw or shutdown.
Real friends don’t sugarcoat or co-sign your stuff. Many people have lost the potential of having some great friendships but fail to accept the truth about themselves. They had to come to realize that having a good friend don’t mean they will never hear something they don’t like about themselves. Real friends tell you what you NEED to hear not what you WANT to hear.
Patience and forgiveness is a part of who they are. At the forefront of their relationships there is balance. The need to win every battle isn’t important to them. Although they want the best for you, they won’t lose themselves trying to help you. They understand that people mature at different rates so they’re patient. This help them to forgive and forget. Their ability to forget is what makes them unique.
They have no problem saying no. Real friends are so secure they don’t need you to make them feel complete. That’s why manipulation never works on them. And reminding them of their past mistakes say more about you then it does about them. When their mind tells them you don’t have their best interest in mind, they believe it. Real friends can put their foot down while at the same time practice compassion.
They don’t take their friendships for granted. It’s the little things that means the most to them. A thank you card or even a phone call to let someone know they are appreciated are some of the things they cherish and take pride in. What they understand intellectually they put into action when it comes to friendships. It’s a priority to them to let their friends know how important they are.
When they are wrong they admit it. You can tell a real friend the truth about himself because that’s what he wants to hear. Honest communication is the first thing you will notice about them. They believe when it’s done in love and compassion it’s the solution to most relationship problems.
They will teach you how to love yourself. As you continue to share more and more intimate and embarrassing things about yourself with them, you will get closer and closer to the real you. You will find yourself telling them things you thought you would take to your grave. One day you will reflect and thank God for placing that special friend in your life for helping you like and love yourself.
Potential for real friendships are all around you and not hidden in some social media waiting for you to discover them. Life becomes more enjoyable when you accept the people around you for who they are. There’s no need trying to get many friends as you can on social media when all you need is one real one.
AM I BEING THE FRIEND I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE?
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I THANKED MY FRIENDS FOR BEING IN MY LIFE?