7 Smart Ways to Survive Your Emotions

38d51c5883cce9da027057c62a363044Imagine how your life would be if you were able to consistently make objective choices. It is believed the first thing you would have to do is change the recording in your head. Our worst self-talk is down the lines of “because I felt” or “it feels good.”

But does changing our thinking take away our feeling? After all, our emotions are part of our human nature created by God. He gave us wisdom to guide us and to protect us from our emotions as well as for other reasons. Whether they are good emotions or bad ones, we must learn how to survive them.

Here are seven ideas to help you survive your emotions:

1, Learn to accept what is. When you try to make the world suite your taste you can quickly become frustrated and emotionally unbalance. It’s the things you don’t understand or like that’s hard to accept. When you accept life and its natural flow, you will lose the attitude that your problems is everyone else’s fault. Acceptance is the start of taking responsibility for your emotions.

2. Find gratitude in every situation. Finding gratitude is the growing process that leads you to a higher place in your life. When storms come your way it’s gratitude that calms them. Life is too good not to be grateful for something, so express some gratitude for all that is going on in your life and you will begin to see the value in the storm you’re in.

3. Stay willing.  Most people wants to survive their emotions. It’s the willingness to change that gives you hope and the courage to do so. The best part about having willingness is you don’t have to understand everything you feel. Staying willing helps you to remember that when you stop trying, your results will always be the same.

4. Forgive often. The best way to start taking care of yourself emotionally is through forgiveness. First you must learn to forgive yourself then learn to forgive others. You will experience the freeing and empowering feeling of having the burden of un-forgiveness lifted off your back. Although in the end you will come out stronger, you will be able to see how much you contributed to poisoning yourself spiritually.

5. Grow in honesty. Honest self-assessment in the path of becoming content. You may think that no one understands you, but it truth, you probably don’t understand yourself. Self-deceptions makes it hard for you to look at yourselves and it keeps you focusing on others. But emotionally strong people looks within for their problems and their solutions.

6. Share your feeling. In order to become and stay healthy emotionally you much share them with someone. It’s important that you find someone you can trust and who will keep what you share confidential. The longer you keep them to yourself the stronger they become. Communication is liberating and freedom from self is the goal you want to accomplish from sharing your feeling.

7. Avoid comparing. It’s a shocker to wake up and realize that other people’s success doesn’t make you a failure. Emotional pain comes in different forms and comparing yourself to others is one of them. When you stop comparing you’ll began to see that its inner satisfaction you seek. You don’t need other people’s approval to like yourself, so learn to be okay with who you are and what you have.

ASK YOURSELF:

What would you add to the list?

Is it possible for you to make objective decisions while your emotions are high?

 

Comments

comments



Categories: Acceptance, Encouragement, Freedom

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37 replies

  1. Absolutely love it. Thank you for sharing this with us!!

  2. This is so helpful! We all need help in the emotions department at some point. Taking in a deep breath also helps to soften emotional sharp edges for me.

  3. Thank you.Yes breathing works for me too. Because sometimes it’s hard to do when I get stressful. Thanks for commenting.

  4. This is awesome. So much truth and relevance, especially to a formerly depressed and anxious little girl. Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow has enough worries of its own. God dressed the bird of the air and the plants of the field, He provides for them. How much more does He care for us? 🙂

  5. Wonderful! I wake to the day feel grateful for it and then read this post – that makes for a great combination!

  6. This is such an important topic Vernon. So many persons find themselves stuck in life because of something that happened to them in the past but just do not know how and when to let go.

    I am happy to see forgiveness (forgive often) on your list. When we understand to forgiveness serves our interest best and it is not about the person who hurt us, then it will be more freely and readily exercised. Practicing gratitude in every situation is also big one for me. Makes no sense to complain as it only makes one bitter rather than better. I find giving thanks in every situation to also be very therapeutic.

    • Hi Yvonne,

      You described how I once was. We hear how resentment slowly eats away at out soul but unforgiveness does the something if not worse. Being thankful has always worked for me and another one I thought of after I wrote this is service to others. No matter what I’m going through when I put others people’s needs first, I instantly become free from my emotional prison. Thanks and have a great day!

  7. Such an awesome post vernon. I really enjoyed this post. Quickly I say that don’t worry about tomorrow. Everyday is a a new day. Spend life happily and without having anxious surely this tactic will help to survive your emotions. 🙂

    Thanks for sharing.

    -Mustafa

    • Thanks Mustafa,

      Living in the here and now will definitely help you survive whatever emotional crisis you’re experiencing.

      Every day we have a chance to appreciate the moment but sadly some people are addicted to living in the past and become drained emotionally. But when they stop worrying their lives become vibrant and serene. Thanks for leaving a helpful comment.

  8. Hi Vernon,

    This is such a remarkable topic to discuss about life.
    In our life we face many problems and some moments of happiness. There are many emotions within a human being but its hard to control them.
    I agree with your points about staying honest, sharing our feeling and all others. These things help us to provide an environment of self satisfaction.

    Thanks for sharing with us.
    Enjoy your day.:)

    ~Ravi

    • Ravi I like how you said we face many problems and some moments of happiness. I was always told it’s not what happens to us or what others say about us that’s our problem, but it’s how we react to it. Most people like to trade their peace of mind in for being right causing themselves a lot of pain. I appreciate your input. Thanks!

  9. Hi Vermon. This is a thoughtful post. Yes I agree with many points that you have raised. I believe that forgiveness is difficult for most people but it necessary for conscience and health sake. I like also where you talk about gratitude; our world system makes us feel that we need more that we are inadequate but if you don’t appreciate where you are today how can you move forward. This is really awesome. Thanks for sharing

    • What’s up Ikechi,

      Ahhh that feeling of needing more. It’s a temptation that knock us off our staight and narrow path. Sometimes it just a little whisper in our ear that can cause us to rationalize things that we know deep down is not right.

      Those are the things that set us up for emotional pain. Thanks for bringing that up. Have a blessed day!

  10. Hello Vernon,
    Great post!
    For my emotions, I think Forgiveness would have to be #1. I’ve heard that doctors who enable patients in psychiatric wards to embrace forgiveness, the “cure” rate escalates! From my experience, I believe that to be true. Forgiveness frees up the anger in our own soul. Forgiveness does not negate the wrong, forgiveness negates revenge. God will take care of judgment. When we hold un-forgiveness, we are in essence playing God. But we are never to gloss over sin in the name of forgiveness. When we forgive, or maybe a better term would be “to release”, the heavy burden of responsibility is lifted off our shoulders and placed on God’s shoulders (who is capable of handling anything). For me, forgiveness is more emotionally freeing than anything.
    Everyone has different ways of dealing with emotions. I think you hit it right on with the top seven! Thanks for making us think!
    Nora

    • When I think of forgiveness I can’t help but to think of freedom, or like you said, “to release.” People punished themselves when they don’t forgive. God said we must forgive, so that tells me that un-forgiveness is a serious offense. I always enjoy it when you stop by. Thanks!

  11. Hi Vernon,

    Thought-provoking post! Enjoyed reading it! 🙂

    Half of our emotional troubles (or maybe more) begins and end with not accepting the reality or people & their behavior.

    We go through life and react/respond to situations as per the person we are. We might not be trying to hurt someone with our words or actions but sometimes it just happens.

    And the other person is free to and has the right to interpret our words and actions as per his/her perspective.

    Also, wanting situations to go our way or wanting people to behave the way we expect them to behave, these are instant ways to make one lose control over emotions.

    People or situations rarely work in such a manner. Whether we accept it or not, but life is more about how we respond to it and accept what’s happening.

    Or if we have a problem/unhappy with certain situation then I think it’s better to start searching for a solution to change it as per our version of it. That is if it’s possible. Otherwise accept and move on.

    Loved this sentence, very true. 🙂

    “It’s a shocker to wake up and realize that other people’s success doesn’t make you a failure.”

    Thanks!

    • Priya I agree. It took me a long time to understand the things you pointed out here. You touched on so much. But not accepting reality is the one I try to drive home the most. When people live in an illusion a long time, reality is hard to accept.

      That’s why they react on impulse and don’t take the time to reason. I can say this because this is something I’ve been working on for some time now. I use to try to control situations when they didn’t fit into my fixed idea.

      Like you said either we accept it, try to change it with a better solution, or leave it all together. That way we can save ourselves a lot of emotional pain. Thanks I really enjoyed your comment.

  12. Hi vernon,

    It’s my first time here on your blog, let me first compliment you for a blog well setup and I must say, you are doing a great job here.

    I saw a point that has really been working for me here, and that’s “sharing my problems.” A problem shared is half solved, sharing your problems with trusted persons can sur give a lift in your emotions.
    Although I saw other points there which I think are also great, for those who are emotionally stressed.

    Thanks for sharing.

    • Larry sharing my feeling was the hardest for me. The way I was raised men just didn’t show that side of themselves, especially to another man. But what I’ve learned is real men who are secure in themselves have no problem becoming vulnerable.

      My accountability partner and a spiritual advisor both showed me how to not just share my problems, but to also share the feeling that’s associated with them. That way, I can find the solution that’s within in. It was an invaluable lesson! Thanks for dropping by.

  13. Hello Vernon,
    Wonderful post and great blog! I totally agree with what you have to say about emotions and you have mentioned some great tips to survive difficult emotions. I agree that acceptance and becoming aware of the role of difficult emotions is the first step towards surviving them. The lack of awareness causes much suffering and a lot of time people are not in touch with their own feelings and emotions or choose to shut down to them. I was reading somewhere in psychology literature or books that there is a subtle distinction between emotions and feelings that may be useful to resolve them. The first one emotion cannot be easily controlled and is more visceral and less mental and emotions come and go like clouds and storms in the sky. That emotional response in the body then evokes a feeling or set of feelings in the body or mind that are more thought based and that is where people can choose to or allow to let go and come at peace. We can choose to feel better in the here and now and that eventually allows us to have better emotional responses.

    I love what you said: “When you accept life and its natural flow, you will lose the attitude that your problems is everyone else’s fault.” That is oh-so amazing!! I also love the kind words of one of my teachers, Louise L hay that “everyone is trying to do the best that they can with the knowledge and understanding that that have.” That statement by Louise immediately puts the judging mind to rest and peace because it is a powerful statement of acceptance and compassion.

    Like you mention, gratitude and forgiveness are powerful forces in coming to terms with difficult emotions. Again you said it in highly effective words that life is too good to not be grateful for. Living from a place and intention of gratitude, appreciation and forgiveness is living a life of great blessing and peace. I think that the challenge people confront is that they find it difficult to get a foothold in the realm of gratitude. They feel overwhelmed, and the reverse of all that you mention…unforgiveness, unable to accept and so on. The key in that scenario would be to allow the emotions to be and feel them, then allow the feelings to guide to a more empowering place. This is mostly felt due to a lack of personal control and feeling like life is spinning out of control. So I believe if we focus on one tiny thing to be grateful for, to express appreciation for, to love, that would be a great beginning. Even though it is difficult to understand while in the middle of difficult emotions and feelings, there is still the hope of a choice. The choice to learn from the difficult feelings and emotions and allow them to be a guide, a friend on the growth process. I believe that letting go is an art that has to be much practiced and implemented to be effective.

    Thanks for a though provoking and a wonderful post!
    Harish

    • Hi Harish,

      I find your comment really interesting to read for several reasons. First, You got my attention when you said our emotional respond evokes a feeling that are more thought based. I like to call that emotional logic. When we try to make sense of every feeling we have instead of just feeling and dealing.

      Secondly the statement your teacher said is powerful! I have a friend who likes to remind me that I should try to accept people for who they are because I don’t know what they are recovering from. He added we all are recovering from something.

      Finally, you talked about focus. Focus is my one word I try to live by for this year. Next year I will pick another word. Harleena wrote an article http://www.aha-now.com/how-to-stay-focused/ that have been helpful for me.

      Whatever we focus on we give it power. That’s why it’s important we find a little gratitude, like you said, before we become an emotional wreck. The sad part is that most people don’t know they have a choice on how they respond to their emotions.

      Thanks for commenting Harish you helped me get a better understanding between emotions and feelings.

      • Hi Vernon,
        I like the term emotional logic because it explains the idea of making emotions cerebral and into thoughts and staying with them. It may be true for many people that the emotional response or the feelings generated are not the root cause of the issue. It might just be the incessant staying with and analyzing the feelings. Kind of like super glue…sticky feelings that we find difficult to let go of. The mind takes the easy path and begins analyzing them and tries to make sense or logic from them.

        I like what your friend says and the idea that we are recovering from something. This is very true. We are all recovering from the past or from present events that cause and promote resistance and suffering. Yes, focus is a powerful word. In the Hawaiian Huna tradition, one of the principles is MAKIA or Energy flows where attention goes. I really like Harleena’s post on focus. It is right on and very effective in developing focus.

        Thanks,
        Harish

  14. I don’t think you should make objective decisions when your emotions are high. Your feelings have a way of taking over and at that point you’re bias. I think you should allow your emotions to subside before continuing. How you feel when your emotions are on 10 may not be in alignment with what you want to happen.

    ~Lea

    • I agree Lea. Making decisions when your emotions are high is like signing up for miseries. Family relationships have fallen apart because of it. My biggest struggle during times like this is quieting my mind. It always adding things to the situation that’s not true, trying to give me an accuse to do or say something that will cause more harm.

      Thanks for taking time out to read and comment.

  15. thank you for such solid advice on this troublesome area for our lives!

    • Im glad to hear you enjoyed it.
      God want us to be emotionally free so we can enjoy His love and presence.
      Hope to see you hear again soon.
      Thanks, Vernon

  16. Thank you so much for this, Vernon, and for all your work. You are spreading good news, and we all need to hear it! Also, thanks for following my blog. I’m so glad you liked it! Looking forward to reading more of your work.

    • Hi Sarah,
      It’s truly a blessing to hear I’m a source of hope and inspiration. I can’t wait to continue reading your blog also as you share with the world the good news of God’s powerful deliverance.

      Blessing,
      Vernon

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