Couples Are Intrigued On Learning How To Love Unconditionally

photo-1429080355161-3c071e2e27a6Cute cards, chocolate candy and rose flowers brings our Valentine the warm fuzzy feeling we call love. Romance fills the air as men watch their women slowly read their hallmark cards with rousing eyes.

Now that Valentine’s Day is over let me ask you a question.

What you think would had happened if you forgot to get your Valentine a gift? How do you think he or she would had reacted?

I think we all believe most would had felt disappointed right? Why is that?

What is unconditional love?

Let’s not fool ourselves here there’s an undertone during Valentine Day that cause men to reticent about their feeling on this day.

Some men had shared they feel pressured on Valentine’s Day.

Their thinking is everyday is Valentine’s Day.

I don’t know the history of Valentine’s Day but after watching this video link I’m not surprised to had learned how it evolved from something other than unconditional love.

Statements  “I want” and “give me” you will hear a lot on this day.

To illustrate the point further, Jesus told them this story: A man had two sons. The younger son told his father, ‘I want my share of your estate now, instead of waiting until you die.’ (Luke 15:11-12 NLT)

When someone says ‘give me’ or ‘I want’ it shows they are concerned about themselves. You might not see it as being selfish because selfishness is seen best when someone don’t get what they want.

I know because I share with my wife things I would like from her.

But when I didn’t receive what I think I deserved, I feel selfishness entering my spirit with rebellion and resentment building.

Often we get into romantic relationships not knowing what love is. We think it’s how our partner makes us feel. We think they are in our lives to serve us. That’s worldly self-centered love.

Godly love is different from worldly love.

Godly love is not about feelings. It’s not about what can your partner do for you to make you feel loved.

That’s not your partner’s responsibility. That’s God’s responsibility.

Godly love shows in giving of self with not expecting anything in return. It’s the foundation of all spiritual principles.

The prodigal son demanded that his father give him what he believed he deserved.

His father showed unconditional love by having a roof over his head and by welcoming him back with no reservations.

But the son’s meaning of love was different and worldly. He though his father giving him what he wanted was showing love.

Isn’t that what we do as Christians with our Heavenly Father? We go to Him with selfish intentions.

We ask God for things and after He blesses us we forget about Him then run into the world only to come back again spiritually defeated.

Self-interest should be limited, very limited, and done in moderation.

It’s a balance between bragging on what God had done for you and bragging on what you had done for God.

For instance, when you join a church family and look for ways you can contribute rather than what the church can do for you, that’s Godly love.

When your husband ask himself what can he do to improve your marriage and not try to change you to improve it, that’s Godly love.

Our LORD tells us to love Him with all our heart, mind and soul. He tells us to love others MORE than ourselves. He tells us to love our enemies. You know the ones.

Those enemies who owe you money! Those enemies who betrayed you! Those enemies who gossip about you!  Those enemies you resent!

Those enemies who stole from you! Those enemies who had sexually assaulted you!

How can you love THOSE enemies?

If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners to that much! And if you lend money only to those who repay you, why should you get credit? Even sinners will lend to other sinners for a full return.

Love you enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked. (Luke 6:32-35 NLT)

The key to loving unconditionally is doing for others without conditions. In other words, doing for them without expectations.

We must not let our minds be conformed by the world by having a personal intimate relationship with Jesus and allowing His Word to resonate in our heart.

Jesus Christ said you can’t love if you don’t know Him because He IS love. He said without love you have nothing.  He said the most important clothing you can wear is love.

He said the world HATES YOU so be in it but not part of it.

Divorce rates are at record high because people throw the word love around loosely not  understanding you can’t give what you don’t have.

If God isn’t in your heart then how can love be in it? But maybe love is in your heart but the wrong kind of love.

My next article we will discuss why the world hates you and the tools it uses to influence your thoughts and actions. You will learn how you can be of the world and not live with worldly values.

Remember love is giving without expectations and loving your enemies.

For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16 NLT)


What motivates me to obey God?

Do I love the world?




Categories: GOD, LOVE, Self Reflection

Tags: , ,

4 replies

  1. Dear Vernon,
    I pray God helps us all to understand that “Love is giving without expectations, and loving our enemies.”
    This is great food for thought and action.
    Thanks a lot for the Pingback.
    Have a super blessed day!

    • Hi Ugochi,

      Love conquer all even though we are surrounded by all the poor choices we had made reminding us that one selfish action we can be right back where we cane from.

      You’re welcome for the Pingback too.

  2. Hi Vernon,

    Wonderfully written indeed 🙂

    Yes, now that Valentine’s over, it’s safe to ask the question that what would have happened if you hadn’t gifted your partner anything or forgotten about VDay! Honestly speaking, such days are made and celebrated as reminders for those who don’t otherwise remember them, though ideally should be celebrated daily.

    No, we don’t buy gifts and the usual stuff, as we feel it’s the feelings that matter, the deeds you do towards each other, which go beyond the ‘wants’ and ‘needs’. You mentioned well – love should be unconditional (reminds me of an old post about unconditional love on my blog also), and when we love in such a way, our expectations are limited too (I won’t say they aren’t there, but you learn to accept a lot of things) – and love towards everyone and everything, as it should be – not just selfish love for yourself or yours.

    Thanks for sharing. Have a nice weekend 🙂

    • Hi Harleena,

      There are always valuable lessons to be learned from your comments. The deeds do go farther than wants and needs. Loving our enemies doesn’t mean we have to like them or agree with them. Our job is forgive them and want the best for them.

      That was very hard for me at first. I would say I forgave someone then harbor anger and bitterness towards them.

      I have to go read your post on unconditional love. I know there’s some valuable lessons to be learned.

      Have a blessed day.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

%d bloggers like this: