God Is The Key Ingredient to Blended Families

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It take work to blend two families. Internal spiritual work.

When I married Nicole I didn’t understand the full significance of blending two families.

I could have saved us both some pain if I would have known.

Family is God’s plan and if he’s not the key ingredient of them they’ll become unstable and fall apart.

The only hope for families today is commitment to change spiritually by letting God lead.

Be careful of what you pray for.

Before I married this time I prayed to God for a family that’s grounded in love because I knew God is love.

I study His word daily which develop into a strong trusting relationship.

I began to hear Him speak to me. One night while I was at work God told me to marry Nicole so I did.

After our honeymoon on the Virgin Island in St Tomas, we came home and I was still on that honeymoon high.

I couldn’t stop smiling.

I meditated on how beautiful Virgin Island was. I vision how clear the water was.

Me and wife could look down in the ocean and see fish and turtles swimming all around us two love birds.

I recall how they seem to have no problems. I believe that how our marriage would be.

Nicole had three children coming into our marriage and so did I.

It wasn’t two weeks after our honeymoon when Nicole asked me can DJ come stay with us because he’s having problems staying with his father in Muncie.

DJ is her oldest son who’s twenty-two years old. I immediately came down from my honeymoon high.

I went to God the one who told me to marry this woman and asked Him.. why?

I explain to Him how I still have sand in some of my clothes from the honeymoon. This is too soon God! I still have sand in my shoes!

God asked me why I think everything is about me.

He told me it was more about them than me and I should look forward to the challenge if I’m to grow spiritually.

All he wanted me to do was follow His lead and stay out His way.

I went back to wife confused and told her no DJ can’t stay with us now, but maybe later.

But I forgot Nicole have a relationship with God also and He told her to bring him.

God always have his way. A week later DJ was at our house.

DJ isn’t a bad kid I just wanted my house, okay my wife, to myself.

It’s one thing to read and understand God’s word it’s another to practice it.

God wanted me to practice what I knew and that was putting others before me.

But my flesh wanted what it wanted so it kept reminding me I have a grown man staying in my home.

The Devil knew I didn’t like that idea. The Devil is good at what he does.

Now operating out of the flesh, I started listening to the Devil more.

Satan knew I was the head of the house so he attack me hard.

One day DJ and I got into an argument that almost went to blows. He told me to step outside…and I did.

While I was out there waiting on DJ and full of anger, I turned around to see him coming but my wife lock me out the house.

Then I heard God’s quiet voice tell me this is your wife’s child you want to fight Vernon.

The one I gave you. I started to cry.

I asked God in desperation what He wanted me to do. He told me to love DJ, that’s all.

He said I was to busy listen to the Devil than listening to Him. He reminded me how I prayed to Him for a family built on love.

He said love in the home starts with me.I loved on DJ by getting out of God’s way.

Now he’s working, got his own car and about to get his own apartment. DJ no longer get in trouble.

Sometimes God put us into situations that we don’t understand but if we’re committed to letting Him work on us, he will make any blended family work.

God’s love never fail; we just need to get out His way.



Categories: Family, Freedom, Relationship

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14 replies

  1. Hi Vernon,
    This is such a wonderful testimony of when God puts us through test, often times to prove our love, He already has the solution. That is where our obedience comes in. So happy it has worked out for you and your family. God bless you all!

  2. “I’ve still got sand in my shoes!” Know the feeling, bro! God does not discipline us when it’s convenient for us… I am glad you shut out the voice of the stranger. The greater One lives in you, praise God! Thanks a lot for sharing. Stay blessed!

    • Amen! Funmi why I complained about the sand in my shoes I will never know. He could have told me how many grains of sand I had in them. How easy we forget when we’re stuck on self. Thanks for coming by and blessing us!

  3. Wonderful blog. I understand perfectly what you both went through. I too have children from a previous marriage and I can tell you God taught me discipline through everything I had to go through with them. Love has won through. God’s love never fails. I do not even try to take the place for their mother but all I desire is to have my home open so they can come home to see their dad whenever they want too. Knowing God helped me to cope with whatever I have had to cope with remembering my husband as far as I know has not made a commitment to follow Jesus this is between him and God. The responsibility of his salvation belongs to God and not me, all He calls me to do is pray for the whole family and this I do fervently daily for them all.

    • Thanks for sharing your story Avril! I believe it’s God’s desire to build healthy relationships in all families. It start by admitting our need for His help because he’s always looking for ways to exhibit His love!

  4. What a beautiful testimony. It is through hardship and stories of the flesh that we learn and encourage others. It took my husband and I 4 years to figure out we needed God to be the center of our blended family and that we needed to humble ourselves and toss out our egos. It is what brought us back to God after some wandering. Who knew that submitting our prideful selfish ways for the sake of our children and the family was actually what we needed to be set free? I see lots of blended families out there tangled up and tormented and hurting; especially the children. You’re a good man. I always thank God that my own husband realized turning to God for answers in our marriage was key. If he had not wanted to lead us there, I don’t think I could have taken us there alone. Thank you again for sharing. There is nothing mightier than a husband and father that submits to our Lord.

  5. This is good! This is honestly one of the things that scares me about marriage. Hollywood only sells us the honeymoon version, but in reality it’s about sacrifice and service. A big pill to swallow! It’s great you guys are making it work. I agree LOVE is key!

    • Hi Maya,

      You hit it right on. Sacrifice and service are part is the foundation of marriage. Because when you do those you’re loving others more than yourself.

      I tell people all the time marriage isn’t for everyone. If you’re not willing to look inside yourself and becoming willing to change I wouldn’t recommend it.
      It made me grow up fast. 😀

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us.

  6. Hello Vernon,

    I am glad you have managed to overcome the tough phase of life with determination. I guess, your love and respect for God has helped you in this journey.

    Relationships are always complicated, but if handled wisely, brings peace and harmony for both the partners. After all, it hardly makes sense to spend this short life cursing each other.

    Thanks for writing this.

    • Hi Tuhin,

      I haven’t seen you in awhile. I’m glad you came by.
      Yes it’s all because of Him that I’m able to free myself from me.
      God knows I’m weak and self-centered. He have great love for people like myself. He just want me to show that same love to others.
      I have to head over to your blog soon because I always had enjoyed your writing.
      Thanks again,

  7. What a great piece of writing! You proved wonderfully well it’s ok to change yourself for someone you love!! I am so glad you guys made it through!

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