How To Break The Destructive Cycles In Your Life

Some things will never make sense to you.

You don’t have to be an intellect to try to figure out events in life.

There is something inside each of us that’s curious about certain things.

For instances, how can someone make sense of a past from sexual abuse?

How could God allow a child go days without eating we may ponder.

Many of us want to know why we do what we do and think the way we think.

A lot of the decisions we make spring from our childhood experiences and from our inability to understand things.

And because of that we developed a belief system to help us cope with our pain and confusion.

Not knowing when we block our pain with deny we also block out love from God and others.

We don’t need to understand everything just need to enjoy what we do understand and accept that our past is a part of who we are.

With this post I will provide an accurate picture of our emptiness search for life’s answers to why we do what we do?

What has happened before will happen again. What has been done before will be done again. There is nothing new in the whole world. “Look,” they say, “here is something new!” But no, it has all happened before, long before we were born. (Ecclesiastes 1:9-10 GNB)

“What goes around comes around” was one of my mother’s favorite quotes.

I didn’t quite understand until I was caught stealing one day in my youth.

It was if she read my mind as I tried to explain myself.

“See what had happened was…”

Mom had already experienced every excuse a child could imagine raising six children before me.

Plus as a child we forget our parents were once children themselves.

There is an advantage of having experience.

People with experience have wisdom to know life is a cycle; a pattern.

They learned to accept the gray areas of life.

They no longer see life as black and white or good or bad.


Those who have learned from experience get their insight from their own mistakes and from the mistakes of others.


They understand if they fail in any area of their life they will have another opportunity to pass that test again in the future.

It’s important for you to know that you will have people come into your life and some will go.

There will be seasons of you having employment and seasons you not.

This heroin epidemic our country is going through is nothing new.

It was the drug of choice for addicts before crack hits the streets hard in the 80’s.

Like Moms said everything that goes around comes around.

And it’s the same with dysfunctional families.

From generations to generations dysfunctional families have pasted down coping mechanisms that kept them in an endless destructive loop.

Repetitious Pain

You ever wondered why you give so freely to others but others are not as generous to you?

You give and give and give and give…

Until you are angry and exhausted.

But for some reason you can’t stop giving.

And when others try to give to you it’s hard for you to receive.

You ask yourself why others aren’t as loving as you are.

But is it love or are you trying to fill a void?

Is it love or is it people please?

Is it love or are you trying to control others because you want the outcome to be in your favor?

A lot of your repetitious pain is from lack of self-knowledge and self value.

When you are needy and lack self-confidence you find yourself in situations and among people who reinforce your view of yourself.

Under The Sun

The book of Ecclesiastes doesn’t say much about God.

Instead it talks about how nothing in this world (under the sun) can make us complete or fill that void I mentioned earlier.

Solomon chased wisdom, pleasures and alcohol for meaning in life.

But nothing could satisfy his endless search.

All the pieces to the puzzle of life didn’t fit together.

He had success and wealth but it didn’t matter his life still felt meaningless.

Kind David’s son Solomon was caught up in a cycle of trying to find meaning to life by himself and on his own terms.

Many people today are caught up in the same cycle and don’t know it.

They are determined to break the destructive cycles in their lives through drugs or acting out another way.

But only God can give them purpose for a meaningful life.

He’s the only one who can break those destructive cycles.

In The Son

If you are willing to deal with your past, you can make the moment you are in rich. – Oprah Winfrey

Your past is a part of your today.

Most people are recovering from some sort of trauma in their life.

They carry that trauma in their hearts.

Unless they are freed from them they will continue living their present life through their experiences as a child.

They heard things a child shouldn’t had heard and saw things a child shouldn’t had seen.

This distorted their perception and belief.

They try hard to raise their children better than they were raised.

But find themselves reacting to their children the same as their parents reacted to them or worse.

The only way to stop the emotional and mental destructive cycles is to go back and deal with the pain.

You can do this in therapy or in a 12 steps recovery program.

You must remember that God is with you.

It’s in His Son Jesus where freedom from your past is found.

He wants you to find someone you can trust your secrets with.

God will work through this person.

Tell him the things you couldn’t say as a child and feel the feeling.

It’s okay to cry.

Let it all out there is not need to worry because God have you in His loving arms.

After doing this your spiritual blinders will be removed and you will instantly feel freedom.

As you move on with your new life you will gradually see it improving because you no longer see it from past pain but from present love.

God is love.

God is the way.

God is in the business of… breaking cycles.


Where “under heaven” have I searched for meaning?

What areas of my life I take too seriously?

















Categories: Hope, LOVE

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