If you can’t CHANGE the people around you, then Holla!


The desire to change is in each of us.  Some habits are easier to change than others.  For some, changing the morning routine to avoid being late may be just as difficult as trying to stop smoking is for others.  We are all different, but we all have things about us that need to change.  And the last thing for most people to do is to look within themselves to find solutions.

Romans 7:19 “For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do- this I keep on doing”

“What is inside of me that allows me to continually do ‘this’ when ‘this’ leads to ‘that’ and ‘that’ leads to unhappiness?”, you may ask yourself.  And after all the soul searching and self-reflection, your solutions are exhausted and your actions are the same.

Have you thought about changing the people around you? Sometimes we need to change the people around us in order to have room to change ourselves. Believe it or not, a lot of people can’t enjoy life because of the restrictions placed on them by the people they hang around.  These restrictions aren’t visible, but are felt. Taking risks and walking through fears are necessary in order to change the people around you.

True courage is not absent fear, but having the willingness to walk through it.

Let’s keep it real here; we all have people in our lives that we wish would grow up and start taking care of their responsibility.  Their actions may not directly affect us, but being around them seems to take something out of us.  So, how long are you willing to wait for them to change?  Are they the ones who need the changing?  There may be better odds to hit the lottery than it is to change someone else. But that’s why we need courage, to let them know (in a loving way), that time spent with them needs to be reduced or eliminated.


Negative people drain all positive energy. Anytime goals, dreams, or aspirations are mentioned, a negative slant is soon to follow from some individuals. A negative person has a better chance of convincing you to think like them, than you convincing them to think positive. Instead of trying to change a person with a negative attitude, flip the script to help you grow.

But how can you grow when surrounded by negative people? By practicing spiritual principles such as, surrender, acceptance and tolerance. We spend too much of our energy trying to change people into who we would like for them to be, rather than allowing God to use them to help us change into the person He would like for us to be.

When we begin to get better with ourselfs, by God’s grace, everything around us begins to get better. That includes relationships with kids, spouses, and on the job.  But acceptance, surrender, and tolerance are only temporary solutions to help us have peace in the here and now. How do we get long-term serenity?

There are only three things we can do: change the person, accept the person, or leave the person (Holla!).  Leaving is the hardest for most people because of fear of being alone.

Any change involves overcoming fear. Again, I always go back to God. When God begin to work on you from the inside out, you begin to feel better about yourself.  The self-esteem that was so badly missing has return. Along with confidence, not in self, but in God.

Now only healthy people are around you. People who have the same goals and values as you. Before we can change what’s on the outside of us we must learn to change what’s on the inside. A statement I hear so many women say is. “I keep picking the wrong guy”.

No you’re not. You’re picking the guy that matches how you feel about yourself on the inside. Let God change you from the inside out, then all the other people you spent so much time trying to change will leave or change. But the person that needs the most changing is yourself.



Categories: Freedom

Tags: , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

%d bloggers like this: