Learn How To See Yourself Coming

Flickr photo/Kathryn

You ever seen someone coming towards you and said to yourself, “Here come such and such.” Then you began to walk the other way hoping they didn’t see you too. Usually when we do this it’s because there is something about this person’s character that we don’t like.

Maybe they like to gossip or that they always have to one up the other person.  Regardless of the reason there’s something about them which makes us not want to be in their presence.

What if you could see yourselves coming like you see others coming? Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. We all have this one side to us (or maybe two sides) that we don’t like and we try to keep it hidden but under the right circumstances we know that other side can show up making us upset or angry.

We must learn to see that other side coming BEFORE it does harm. And we do this through self-awareness. You still don’t understand what I’m saying when I say see yourself coming? Let me give you a kind reminder. 🙂

Children. Those little bitty balls of joy. Don’t you just love them?  But sometimes they can be demanding…”Mommy….Mommy…Mommy!” You get my point. And sometimes that can get under your skin to the point you may have thought about grabbing them. Some of you have grabbed them only to feel guilt after.

You ask yourself, “What was I thinking?”

Then at other times when they act in this same manner it’s as if you don’t even notice them and you just let them continue to say Mommy until their heart’s content and they go into the other room and start calling…”Daddy…Daddy…Daddy!”

What was different? What makes you more tolerant and patience one day more than the other? YOUR SPIRITUAL CONDITION.

When you are at peace can’t too many outside influences effect that.  It’s called joy.  Even thought God is always present with you sometimes you don’t feel His presents. And that’s when you want to control your life.

But every time you take control of your life you lose contact with God and it seems like He left you. I going to share a secret with you…God isn’t the one who moved.

“I command you–be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

It’s impossible to see yourself coming if you don’t know yourself. And in order to know yourself you must practice self-honesty and self-acceptance.

The Holy Spirit and your conscience will help you look within and expose your good, bad and indifference. You will meet a new person after this self inventory so shake his hand and get to know the real you.

The LORD’s searchlight penetrates the human spirit, exposing every hidden motive. (Proverb 20:27)

This is important because everyday your spiritual condition isn’t going to be at peace. Sometimes you’re going to be irritated easily and have no patience at all. But now you know yourself on a spiritual level so when you’re unease you can H.A.L.T and ask yourself some questions.

The acronym H.A.L.T. stands for:

Hungry

Angry

Lonely

Tired

Paying close attention to these four conditions will help you see yourself coming. You must be aware of your flaws and understand the destruction they are causing you. When you’re feeling any of these you can become mean and critical. So always HALT and be alert by asking yourself are you hungry, angry, lonely or tired. One or two of these are usually present.

But what if you’re okay with all of these and you continue acting out in ways that hurting your loved ones and yourself? You’re tired of asking yourself how did I get here again? These are the times you have to go below the surface and get to the hidden motives and ask yourself some deeper spiritual questions.

Am I committed to change? Am I willing to do anything to help stop these character flaws from ruining my life and stop me from deceiving myself?

After answering these questions honestly you must be willing to find yourself an accountability partner. I have one myself and it’s the best think I could have done for myself.

For instance, now instead of saying something on impulse to my wife that can cause harm to her when she’s irritating me, I call my accountability partner and share with him what I’m thinking and feeling. Then he show me another perspective in the matter.

Remember others can see you coming before you can. Ask you Pastor about helping you team up with an accountability partners at your Church. You won’t regret it.

Learning how to see yourself coming is a life long process. Because God is always showing you things he wants you to improve or remove. When you learn this important skill situations will no longer control you.

It’s time for you to let God do some spiritual surgery on you so in every situation you can see yourself coming and get out of God’s way.

ASK YOURSELF:

AM I PLACING UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS ON OTHERS AND MYSELF?

HAVE I TAKEN THE DRIVER’S WHEEL FROM JESUS AND BEGAN TO DRIVE MY OWN LIFE?

Comments

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Categories: humility, Self Reflection

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19 replies

  1. You are very correct in that is is a lifelong process. I think we often beat ourselves up trying to attain unattainable perfection in a matter of days or even a year. This year…

    HALT is a good one! I can attribute the worse decisions I’ve made to one of these states. Thanks for another great post and the link back! 🙂

    • Hi Lilka,

      On any given day I can fall prey to perfectionist so I watch myself in that area so like you said, I want began to beat myself up for being human. When we pay more attention to other people’s flaws more than our own, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. But the more we are aware and see ourselves coming, the less we pay attention to others.You’re welcome! Your post on self-deception was spot on.

  2. Another great post Vernon. When we see others coming, and want to turn away from the individual it is because we have actually visualized or see a reflection of ourselves in that person. We tend to turn a deaf ear to the Holy Spirit as well because He nudges us to deal with our flaws and instead of allowing Him to help us, we quench Him.

    We will not attain perfection for sure but using but Jesus can fix our heart and life if we only let Him. Very creative of you with the acronym HALT. 🙂 I can see that by applying this, we can save ourselves making decisions that we later regret.

    Have a blessed weekend. 🙂

    • Hi Yvonne,
      Our lives are filled with relationships with others: family, friends and co-worker. But we also have a relationship with ourselves. And like you said we often see in others what we don’t like in ourselves. No one likes being around people with defects that why we keep the focus on others more than ourselves.
      But God!
      He will remove those flaws that been hindering our spiritual grow by helping us take a honest you at our past and presents. No we’re not trying to be perfect we’re just trying to get better by removing one character defect at a time.

  3. Hi Vernon
    This was such an enjoyable read for me. As a personal development blogger, this sort of topic really resonated because it speaks of the importance of self reflection and examining what is driving our behavior. We can get so used to our destructive ways, it is easy to feel like we can’t change or what have you, but we just have to get off auto-pilot and look within. It is important we do this with compassion, and be willing to take responsibility for our lives. Great post!

    • Hi Kelly,
      You are so right! Our destructive ways is just a small part of us but so many people get their identity from them. When we get off auto-pilot and learn newer and healthier ways to respond to life we become happier people. Our problems are never outside of us neither are our solutions. We must stop rationalizing and justifying our behaviors and take ownership of them by seeing ourselves coming.

      I enjoy talking to you!

  4. Hey Vernon! True that. The accountability partner. Isn’t it a good way of seeing the other side of the coin.

    • Hey Ajay,

      I can go on and on about how seeing the other side of the coin have saved me a lot of pain. But sometimes it’s challenging to pick it up and look on the other side.

      That’s where an accountability partner comes into play. Sometimes he can show you that you wasn’t just look at the wrong side of the coin but the wrong coin itself.

      Thanks!

  5. Isn’t it amazing to have an accountability partner, to see the other side of the Coin. Loved the read Mr. Spiritual person!

  6. Hi Vernon

    You are right. You remind me of a post I wrote titled 4 Reasons Why You Should Not Meet Yourself Through Someone Else.

    I love the word HALT. It is a way to check ourselves if we are going astray. I also love the fact that you have an accountability partner. The truth is that we need the wisdom and help of the Spirit in our lives. We can journey into the world on our own. Thanks for sharing a thoughtful post. Have a nice day

  7. What’s up Ikechi,

    I’m going to have to go and check that post out because you always give me something to take with me. The title along is catching.

    Yeah it’s good practice to check ourselves on a regular because that other side that I was talking about never gives us a fair warning. He creeps in and before you know it you’re acting out of character.

    We have preventive maintenance program for our car but we seldom have one for our spirit. Our spirit needs tuning up more than our car.

  8. Self examination is recommended for every believer. Checking ourselves by God’s word with the intent of becoming better people and ambassadors of Christ.
    Thankfully, we have The Holy Spirit to help us, if only we acknowledge we need His help.
    Thanks for this inspiration Vernon!

    • Hi Ugochi,

      You are so right. God has always wanted us to self reflect and get in touch with our divine nature. Life and its obstacles have many believers believing their defects is who they are.

      But we are much more than that. Deep within us all is a precious diamond that’s ready to shine so bright. Self reflecting, with the power of the Holy Spirit, gets us to core of who we are.

      Thanks for coming by.

  9. Great post! Self reflection is a seldom practiced attribute. It can take some work to figure stuff out about yourself and, for me, I’m not sure it’s a journey you ever get to the end of. But I have found for myself that doing this kind of thing has allowed plenty of opportunity for growth. And it helps when you can get around like minded people, or read useful content like this blog post, that is aimed at progressing toward the same goal.

  10. Hey Micah,

    I want to welcome you to Self Refection and it’s a blessing to have you here.

    I’m with you I think we will be doing this honest self-assessment for the rest of our lives. It’s like peeling an onion. You pull off one layer to find there’s another one under that one. And the deeper you go the more it burns your eyes.

    The deeper we go with self reflecting the more it burns our souls.

    It was this process that helped me become the man I am today. Because I always had courage to face others but never the courage to face and accept myself.

    I was over at your blog Micah and I’m feeling what you’re doing over there. You we see me there often.

    Thanks again and have a great weekend!

  11. Wonderful post, Vernon. You have a wonderful way of presenting things. I feel blessed to have a friend like you in my beginning journey. Lot to learn from you, buddy.
    Self-awareness is the key. To me, To me, it is all about cutting all external strings to enjoy the internal melody. When we are connected with our internal rhythm, all the chaotic noise takes a back seat. At this moment, we are like a free sailor dancing on the boat of life and facing odd winds in a carefree manner.

    • Hey Yatin,

      Welcome to Self Reflection you are wanted and needed here. I can tell from your comment that you understand the importance of self-awareness.

      We all have this voice inside our head telling us negative things. But we have a choice to believe it or not. That’s the benefit from seeing ourselves coming.

      With an honest self-assessment we began to see ourselves as a whole. We then find out we’re not as good or as bad as we thought we were.

      Thanks for coming by and I have a lot to learn from you as well.

  12. Hi Vernon!
    HALT is a insightful…we sometimes tend to have this holier-than-thou image of ourselves and do not see or rather want to see that other side of us. but self awareness will not only let us see that part of us which others might find repelling in us but also take steps to a better us.
    Loved reading this!
    Shubhangi

  13. Thanks for commenting. I know HALT always works for me. Yes the way we view ourselves is diffrent from the way others see us. That’s why it’s good for us to ask someone we trust to list our pros and cons so we can get a better perspective of ourselves. Thanks again!

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