ALL children needs a father who loves them, who is there for them, and who does whatever he can to help them grow into responsible and trustworthy adults. I recently began to spend quality time with my wife and our young son Mylus. We talk together, have meals together, and we’re about to start studying the Bible together. We also share in doing household chores and have weekly family meetings, where we all can share our thoughts with one another. But I didn’t do those things with my older kids. It was something I always desired to do, but I didn’t know how to make it happen. I never learned how to listen to my kids. Instead, I talked at them and not to them. I never asked myself one time, what is the role of a father? I thought my primarily role was to dispense discipline and to go to work. That’s it and that’s all.
Example— the Best Education
John 5:19 “I assure you, the Son can do nothing by himself. he does only what he sees the Father doing”
Sadly, I had no good example to help me. I thought quality time was just being at home. This fatherless thing is getting passed down from generation to generation. Some kids see their fathers every day, but are still fatherless. Their father is present but not available. These fathers are not involved in the lives of their children and are mentally and emotionally absent. A father’s love, time, and attention are all kids want, and not just boys. A little girl’s view of men is influenced by the example set by her father. So when it’s time for her to pick a boyfriend or husband, her decision will be based on what she saw in her father. I have a 20 year old daughter (Kiki) and the thought of me influencing her to this degree made me want to change. Actions teach. Words impart information. I always expressed my love by telling my children I loved them, but that alone didn’t cut it. God reads our heart and he knows what our desires are. So in order for us to be good Fathers, we have to be educated by the example of our Father.
Family come First
A study at Harvard University shows that family comes first to young men these days, more than work. There’s a large group of fathers today, who do not want to see the pattern of fatherless homes repeated. But how do they stop it? In Deuteronomy 6:6,7, it says that God’s word should be foremost in our thoughts when we get up in the morning or when we go to bed at night, when we are at home, at work or on vacation. It also tell us to repeat God’s word again and again to our children!. In James 1:19, God says to be quick to listen and slow to speak. Children want and need us to know how they feel. Listening improves communication between parent and child, which in turn improves their relationship. God gives parents wisdom and the ability to understand as a mechanism to deal with their kids. We need understanding to look beyond their behavior and see what our child is going through. We also need wisdom to respond in a way that continues to help our child grow. Down the road, you don’t want to find yourself asking, “What happened to my child? I didn’t raise him/her like that”, because you didn’t make the effort to raise them at all.
A Great Nation
A fresh start is possible at any stage in life. Right before me and Nicole got married; we sought counseling from our pastor. What he told us was that we thought we sought counseling for ourselves, but we were actually there to continue what God started in Abram. God gave Abram some promises. He promised He would make Abram the father of a great nation. After receiving God’s blessings, Abram is to then give blessings to others. In my world, my “great nation” is my family. My wife and I must give to them what God gave to us. We must listen to our children, be patience, tolerant, and forgiving. Just like God promised to guide Abram, he also promised to guide us. Kiki called me and said she would be getting baptized at the end of this month and she wants me and Nicole to be there. I thank God for this fresh start and another chance to be a father to my kids the way He would like for me to be. I thank God for the perfect Father’s Day gift.