Winning at Work while Losing at HOME (Balancing Act)

Some men like to say their wives are their better half.

But do they show it?

If I posed that question to a couple I’m almost certain the wife’s answer would be totally different from her husband’s.

I see Nicole as someone who keeps me centered.

When I go to far left or right she have the wisdom to help me get back emotionally and spiritually balanced.

Most men know their job is to protect and provide for their families and most are good at that, but there also a balancing act men must master for their relationships to work at home.

Philippians 2:3 ” Do Nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit but in Humility consider others better than yourself”

There comes a time we all get stuck on what we want especially if we think we’re right.

Working and providing for our families is the right thing to do. 

But bringing home the bacon is not the only job for the head of household.

Satan like to use busyness to destroy the home.

If he can get you to spend most of your time at work and away from your family he will do it.

The first part of this balancing act is learning how to LISTEN TO OUR SPIRIT.

There is a fight between the spirit and the flesh and the light and the dark.

We can all identify with the struggle Paul described in Romans 7:14-17.

For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin. For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.

My wife and kids like being up under me at the strangest of times such as when I watching the Lakers.

One night Nicole kept coming in the room asking me questions.

Over the years I’ve learned the hard way to pick up on signs from her.

Nicole didn’t get to the point when she looked with her eyes saying, “Hello! You have a wife over here!”

Reading between the lines takes practice but it’s something men have to make a conscious effort to do.

Doing what we want all the time is not only selfish but immature and keep us from hearing the spirit.

My mind told me to pay her no attention and to keep watching the game, but my spirit said, “Go in there and attend to your wife.”

And that’s what I did.

When we feed our spirit daily with God’s word we can hear the spirit more and more.

The second thing that balance the scale is humility.

HUMILITY gets us off this Island unto ourselves.

As Christians grow in Christ we begin to move beyond selfishness and become more interested in others.

Delusions of self-importance disappear and our ego slowly becomes deflated.

It takes humility to admit one’s faults and to ask for help.

Being humble is what real Men are made of.

God blessed Nicole and I with the opportunity to go see “Still Standing”, from the creators of in Lexington, KY.

We  purchased a DVD of theirs called “Men Ain’t Boys”.

A must read for all.

It talks about stereotypes surrounding manhood.

In it, Dr Rozario Slack speaks on how children spell love.

In his opinion they spell it T.I.M.E.

That leads me to the third piece of the balancing act: TIME.

Don’t tell me what or who you love just show me where you spend most your time then I’ll know.

And so will your family.

Being a winner at home start by putting Christ and your family first by giving them your time and attention.

I believe men understanding of manhood has been influence by their inability to manage emotions.

This takes us to the final part of the balancing act,


I was always told coming up men don’t cry.

The sad part is I believed it.

From generations to generations men believe expressing their emotions make them less of a man.

Then we wonder why young men grow up angry and lost.

I used drugs to suppress my feelings.

Others may use money, sex, food or work.

No matter where you go you will always take you with you so learn how to manage your emotions and live in peace.

There’s another kind of life available to us. We don’t want to continues sinning by putting our jobs before our families. This cycle can be broken when we learn how to win at home by staying balanced mentally, spiritually and emotionally.






Categories: Family, Relationships

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14 replies

  1. Wow Vernon, this is such a great piece of work! I’m a Lucky woman!

  2. Wow! Vernon I am so very proud of you!! This is a great piece, very well written and it flows my young brother.I love how you give props to the Lord and how you always honor your wife as well. Marriage is not easy, both individuals have to be fully engaged for it to work. It makes me feel so good to see and read a black male examining every aspect of his life and working towards being the man God intended him to be. I can only imagine how very proud your Mom must be. Keep up the good work, I will be watching and I’m surely going to ask to share it on my page!

    • Thnk you Carmen!. To God be the glory!. Little Vernon does the editing. I just feel with God’s help I have a story to tell. And yes please share and comment as you like.

  3. Nice! You raised some good points!

  4. I really enjoyed this. Gave me food for thought. Please keep posting enjoyed reading it. I copied it and sent to my mom. Thanks Vernon.

  5. Wow broNlaw i loved this blog…keep puttn god first in all you do my sissy is blessed to have you.

  6. Vernon, you’ve always been that type of guy that spoke with clarity, wisdom, and reason (as a young man in our school days)
    You said somethings that everyone can learn from Deacon. May God continue to use you in a special way, and bless your marriage as you bless others. Many blessings.

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