Finding Peace Through Letting Go of Expectations


I wish someone had told me that holding on to expectations of myself and others could kill me spiritually. I also wish I had known these expectations can easily become a breeding ground for resentment, bitterness and anger. Furthermore, I wish someone had told me that I couldn’t handle any of these issues on my own.

God wants us to know how important it is to have healthy relationships with one another and how our expectations can get in the way of those relationships. Letting go is frightening but when we do it brings us into an intimate relationship with God. In this relationship we experience a peace within ourselves because we now rely on Him to guide us.

To get to this place with God we must live a simple life; a life of faith. We no longer feel the need to over complicate things or become overbearing in situations. Our need for control is often a driving force for many of us. We cling to the illusion that if we are in control we can manipulate outcomes so they work in our favor.

Webster’s dictionary defines an illusion as something that deceives by producing a false or misleading impression of reality– God’s grace shatters illusions.

There is no need for being in control of everything and everyone around us. No one wants to admit being powerlessness but it is a reality we all face at one time or another. The more we attempt to control people, things and outcomes, the more out of control we really are.

When we allow the Word of God to navigate our lives we no longer feel the need to fix, manage or control things. We experience that overwhelming peace because we trust that He is in control.  Why not let go and let God?

Statistics suggest that as well as finances, many marriage ends in divorce because of unmet expectations and the inability to accept reality, in other words, “irreconcilable differences.”  We often have ideas of what marriage is long before we marry believing one day those fantasizes will come true. We get married and reality shows up. Reality is painful.

In order to deal with and face reality we need willingness to take risks. We MUST LET GO! Let go of the fantasy and remove our expectations of what someone should or should not do, be, or feel. We simply ask God to teach us to embrace our differences and quietly surrender. When we reject our idea of what should be and accept what is we have successfully embraced reality as the love for one another becomes stronger.

Our spiritual life is the light that guides us from within. It leads us to awareness of our human flaws and provides insight on how not to create our identity from things outside ourselves. Through self-awareness we become one with God. The only expectations we have are those we expect from God through His promises.

Let go of your expectations and allow yourself to feel the covering of God’s grace and mercy. Trust that God will do the unexpected. When we commit to learning God’s will for ourselves our need for control begins to diminish and we start to form an intimate relationship with Him. Love and peace awaits us and all we have to do is— let go.






Categories: Faith, Freedom

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15 replies

  1. Very good story Vernon but I like expectations it helps me to progress in life.

  2. Love It Vee! I feel the glorious connection in our sharing of faith and philosophy. My faith is revitalized as am I! Human expectations are fuel for conflict in my eyes too.

    • Thanks Spence! I’m so grateful that you took timeout from your busy schedule to vist us. I don’t believe people stumbled into relationships that’s brimming with love. Your poetry is awesome!

  3. I have and I am still learning to let go of every fantasy and unrealistic expectations of my husband, expectations like “he ought to hold me through the night” as I could do it myself.
    And I am enjoying the peace and liberty letting go brings.

    • That’s good to hear Ugochi! I beleive if we lower our expectations it will improve our spiritual foundation by making it more steady and less shaky. And as always, we thank you for coming by and please come back soon!

  4. We will be purified by fire before we enter heaven. Great post love your site.

  5. Nice one! When we begin to see others the way God sees them, we can begin to love them the way God loves them.

    • WOW! You hit it right-on with that statement. Lahyorz, there’s really nothing else I could say after that, but thanks for the blessing and please stop by again.

  6. Vernon, great insight! When we realize that emotions aren’t truth and that they are just indicators, we can start to understand that God alone is all we need for our program for happiness. Jesus is more than enough!

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