In the three possibilities of love relationships: with God, with neighbor and with self, it’s good to know where you are the strongest and the weakest. When we love our-self and others more than God, we are setting our-self up for pain and disappointment.
Recently I discuss relationships with my best friend and he shared how he miss having a girl to walk in the park with, to have pillow talk with and being in a long-term relationship with. He said I’m blessed to have such a relationship. I felt obligated to explain to him what it meant to put God first in any relationship because the grass always look greener on the other side.
Then I could feel a shift in the conversation when I asked, “What’s your role in you being single”?
Whether you’re married or single isn’t the issue, it’s are you trusting God? Singleness is more of a choice than a calling and it’s still consider righteous. (1 Corinthians 7:36-38). People who are single tend to have more freedom but that’s no freedom to sin.They still must practice self-control. When a person find it hard to control the flesh ( which we can’t do on our own) then the Bible says they should marry (1 Corinthians 7:9).
Married people however has more emotional fulfillment and intimacy. The beauty of marriage is a committed love relationship that’s directed by God’s Word. The ugly side to marriage is couples can become complacent. They begin to take the other for granted and expect their mate to bring them fulfilment which can only come from God. Gradually their partner become their God.
Can singleness be perhaps evidence of a deeper rooted problem? I wonder sometimes because I often hear people asking why they keep choosing the same kind of person.They continue being in relationships that doesn’t last or doesn’t have any meaning.
For those people maybe singleness is an option they should consider because we tend to pick a partner on how we feel about our-self.
A long-term relationship doesn’t come without effort. The effort to learn and to love self first, through honest self-examination, comes from God alone. When a person deprive them-self from self-love and self-respect they cling to people; anyone.
Ask God to help you clean the inside of your cup (Luke 11:39-40), so you can stop the same destructive patterns of choosing the same kind of partner and expecting different results; Insanity.
God love us whether we’re single or whether we’re married. Failing often in relationships doesn’t mean its your calling to singleness, it could mean you need to look at your life to see where you might need to change. When we love and trust God, we have a love at work within us that no human being can give us. Remember, Jesus was single.