How To Appreciate Painful Life’s Experiences Of Maturing Spiritually


When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. (1 Corinthians 13:11 NIV)

The concepts of being a mature adult is twisted and distorted.

Often people, especially men, think it’s being older in age or how much responsibility a person have, but in reality being or becoming an adult is how you process and react to life.

People react and respond to life base on their spiritual maturity.

If they’re not mature they can make major decisions emotionally rather than rationally.

So never react by saying you’re a grown ass man because people know you’re not soon as it comes out your mouth.

Maturing is realizing that following your own desires and wants don’t work.

You will remain an infant as long as you’re thinking only of yourself.

In my youth most Saturday morning after cleaning the house Moms, Keith and myself would catch the Metro bus downtown to Findlay Market.

It would be packed with people looking for the best deals and fresh products.

I notice Moms always took her time picking fresh fruit.

She would explain the fruit didn’t always have to be the largest.

She looked for ones that smelled good and fresh and was ready to eat.

Moms wanted them to be ripe, that is, mature.

God wants all His children to mature spiritually as well.

By removing character defects inside us and allowing them the time to mature with the help of the Holy Spirit.


We all are sinners.

There are some who trust and believe in God then there are those who don’t.

And that’s okay.

For the ones who do BELIEVE these are the ones born again supernaturally into God’s family as soon as they believed the Good News.

It’s the only way to enter God’s Kingdom.

Jesus said, “I assure you, unless you are born again, you can never see the Kingdom of God.” John 3:3 NLT

But that just the beginning and the easy part.

People don’t change as soon as they start believing in God.

They have to do the footwork as my wife likes to say.

Understand the hard part comes each day when you submit your stubborn heart and will to the control of the Holy Spirit who now resides in you.

You come to learn you’re not in control of nothing but yourself.


You ever notice how children react when things don’t go their way? They act like the child they are; immature.

Now have you ever notice how some adults react when things don’t go their way?

In my adult years I’ve been told I can at times act childish especially when people don’t act the way I think they should be acting or do the things I think they should be doing.

When things don’t go my way I can throw a tantrum by withdrawing.

That’s a defect I never liked about myself.

I really didn’t know why I act that way at times or more importantly how I’m to deal with it until I developed a personal relationship with God.

He explained there are areas in my life that needs maturing and reacting childish is one of them.

When mother looked for ripe fruits at the market she would notice some fruits had certain things in common that told her they weren’t mature.

Jesus does the same with us.

He wants us to pay attention to what we tell ourselves.

Talking like a child is those self-talks we have that’s self-seeking and self-centered.

That’s why God put people in our life we can share our thoughts, feeling and secrets with and that can help us keep our inner child from acting out as much.


Every man have a little boy in him that’s wants to come out and play.

You see it when they’re playing golf or fishing.

Some like to go hunting while others like myself, enjoy playing and watching basketball.

A good wife understands this and encourage it from her husband but it becomes a problem in the marriage when her husband puts having fun before his wife and family.

When all he thinks about is what he wants he is being immature.

Immature men will justify and rationalize until they get what they want just like a child.

Sometimes they threaten to leave or cause harm because they want what they want.

Lets face it, children are attracted to fun and toys and it doesn’t matter how old they are.

That’s the reason baby cribs have mobiles hanging over toddler’s bed spinning around playing music.

Mothers enjoy watching how excited their child reacts to them right?

But she don’t like when her man-child husband is reacting the same when those nice little mobiles have turned into cars, boats, jewelry and stereos.


In the mid 80’s there were research and studies into alcoholic’s families.

Researchers found that adults who grew up in alcoholic families all experienced some kind of trauma in their early childhood.

Farther studies discovered it wasn’t just with alcoholic families but all dysfunctional families.

This was called Adult Child Syndrome then later called what is more familiar today as codependency.

They say our relationships as children has a direct impact on our relationships as adults.

You may heard people complaining about picking the same person in relationships with a different face.

That’s because a lot of them are unaware of theses facts or unfamiliar with themselves.


Children have a narrow and confused view on life.

They only see what’s in front on them.

They don’t think about the outcome of their actions but only about instant gratification.

They’re known to act impulsively with no filter between thier feeling and behavoir.

That’s why changing from childish behaviors to spiritual maturity happens slowly over time and by application of spiritual principles.

To make process it is essential that one be honest with himself and take a personal inventory.

This involves looking back into your childhood and allowing the little boy or little girl inside to heal.

God will help you recognize your character flaws and you will begin to live a new kind of life: A life of freedom.

But freedom isn’t free and honestly it’s very painful.

But once you get through the other side you will appreciate the experience.



Therefore, anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. (Matthew 18:4 NLT)

Jesus wants us to humble ourselves and come to Him like our Father He is.

Children totally depends on their parents and this calls for true humility.

What happens to us after making an honest assessment of our strengths and weaknesses is we get a better perspective on our lives and turn away from our childish ways.

Our thinking changes and cause us to see reality for what it is.

We learn to survive our emotions.

Mostly we develop a grateful attitude towards life as we discover these three gifts God has for us:

Learning what you’re responsible for

Mature adults take responsibility for their life and problems. They don’t blame their current problems on their parent or others. They refuse to be a victim or want someone else to fix their problems. They are content with things in their life that cannot be changed.

Not demanding life goes your way

You understand that reality is your friend. You know that acceptance is the key to living in the here and now with peace. You believe in your heart rejecting this spiritual need contribute to your physical and emotional problems.

Live a life of sacrifices

Being spiritually mature mean you live your life for others without losing yourself. As you grow up you think of others more and more while still taking care of yourself. You know when you are at your best you server others better.

We are born with selfish tendencies. It’s part of the Fall. If you find yourself acting childish as an adult you are not alone. Humble yourself by writing and sharing honestly about your childhood and then enjoy the enlightened freedom you and your family deserve.






Categories: Encouragement, Freedom, Spirituality

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4 replies

  1. You have nailed it right. Becoming a child does not mean we have to act in childish ways; but in the simplicity of a child’s mind who is always willing to learn and easily lets go of the not so good happenings of the day.

    • Exactly!
      Children want to learn and follow a good leader. Someone who leads by his actions not just his words.
      They take life for what it is that’s why they are quick to forgive and keep on playing together.
      We can learn a lot from them.
      Thanks for reading and following Nezel.

  2. Hi Vernon,

    You are right in all that you mentioned! Being an adult, and a matured one takes a lot. You cannot compare a child to an adult, though sometimes maturity is not even age related. There maybe youngsters who show much more maturity than the elders around us – I guess like has taught them much more in a short time, isn’t it? Learning to go with the flow is the key as well.

    Thanks for sharing. Have a nice weekend 🙂

  3. Hi Harleena,
    Your right there are some children who knows what to do in case of an emergency. While some adults don’t have a clue.
    A police officer actually told me that years ago when I asked him how old a child have to be in order to stay home alone.
    Going with the flow is key because in the end it’s about having peace.
    Thanks for sharing.

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