Sometimes she said it in words but mostly it was her eyes that gave me the stare of death.
When most mothers say “I brought you into this world and I’ll take you out!” it’s just a figure of speech.
But my mother was about that life.
Think about this for a moment if you will, your mother rather you be dead than grow up without discipline and respect for your elders.
Not matter what I did I was always guilty because she knew I played a part in whatever trouble I had gotten into.
Her number one rule: I wasn’t allowed to blame anyone or anything for my actions.
One day I had my football in my hand ready to go round all my friends to play some tackle.
As I was leaving she called me to her bedroom that seemed three miles and some yards away.
I remember taking that long journey thinking I must have to get the telephone for her from the other side of the bed.
That was a regular duty for me but with Moms you never know.
She sat on the edge of her bed smoking a Winston Red and Gold. Her left hand balled up into a fist rested on her left thigh.
She slowly put the cigarette out in the ashtray on the bed, that desperately needed emptying, with her powerful right hand.
I concentrated on that hand although her left hand was balled and ready for battle.
Because that was the hand my brother Keith testified daily she knocked me out with in the store for telling her she didn’t look for what I had asked her to look for.
(Big mistake! I have nightmares today because of it and is seeing a therapist too.)
I never seen it coming so I thought if I watched carefully I could at least get a jump on her.
Out of no where her left hand smacked me on the top of my head like Bruce Lee did the kid in Enter The Dragon for concentrating too hard on his finger.
I asked in shock what was that for and she said I LOOKED like I’m about to go get into trouble.
Then she looked into my watering eyes and asked me what was I thinking.
I said to myself how much I hate you!
Then she smacked me again on my head and said don’t think like that and for me to go outside and play.
To this day I don’t know how she knew what I was thinking.
As you can see I was raised from the old school. Where mothers wasn’t trying to be your friend and didn’t care if you hated them.
If 241-KIDS were out when I was growing up Moms would had beat me when I got out of line then called them for me.
How do I know? Because that’s what she told me.
NO KNIFE REQUIRED
“When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. But the angle of the LORD called out to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!”
“Here I am,” he replied.
“Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.” Genesis 22:9-12 NIV
Abraham was willing to sacrifice his son by slaying him. I can only imagine how difficult if was for him knowing he had to kill his son because it was God’s will.
Honestly I think my mother had that problem. She wasn’t willing to give me to Satan’s world without a hard fight. She knew it was God’s will for her to raise me the best and only way she knew…
KILL ME WITH TOUGH LOVE!
Once I was lost and I know it was only by God’s grace and the discipline from my mother that I was found.
Today parents are sacrificing and killing their children too but they’re not slaying with knives or tough love.
They are using busy schedules or trying to be the good or cool parent.
Some sacrifice their children by pressuring them to perform well in sports.
They will do anything to avoid discipline.
I understand there is more to discipline than spanking. My mother didn’t just beat me she was also a great listener.
She was an expert with helping me tell the truth.
But her strong point was setting limits and sticking to them.
If you refuse to discipline your children, it proves you don’t love them; if you love your children, you will be prompt to discipline them. Proverbs 13:24 NLT
Back in the days children were to be seen and not heard. Parents today have a liberal style of parenting.
Their children have the free will to speak when they like even while grown folks are talking.
They don’t have to leave the room.
With this kind of parenting children grow up feeling entitled and show no respect for their parents or people of authority.
Then later they resent their parents for not setting healthier boundaries and rules.
THE MOST LOVING THING YOU CAN DO
No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening–it is painful! But afterward there will be a quiet harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way. Hebrews 12:11NLT
Growing up for me was painful, very painful. I had to do my homework soon as I got home from school.
Every parent in our neighborhood had the green light to spank me if they seen me doing something wrong.
I had to head home soon as I seen the street lights started coming on.
Moms gave me only what I needed ( roof, clothes and food) she wasn’t into giving me what I wanted.
It felt like I was being punished for being alive.
The only freedom she gave me was the freedom to choose right from wrong.
She never recused me from my trails. She believe experience was the best teacher. At times I could tell she badly wanted to but she was thinking about my future.
She wanted me to experience and learn from the consequences of making bad decisions.
Her hope was for me to grow into a responsible man who live with character.
It’s hard to let our child experience the consequences of their choices. But think about the alternative. Think about them growing up to worldly standards.
Like Abraham, God is calling you to bring your sacrifice to a halt and don’t kill your children by recusing and enabling them.
Because life lessons are learned through their trails that will teach them how to persevere in spit of pain.
Moms always said one day I will thank her for the way she raised me and looking at my life now and how lost children are today.
I am truly thankful.
Thanks Moms for taking me out of this world with tough love… RIP