Submit To One Another Out Of Reverence For Christ

You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to see men approach to almost everything is different from women. Whether it’s which way the toilet tissue should roll or when to or not to discipline a child. Men are from Mars Women are from…you get my point.

In the spiritual life however it’s not that obvious. The two sexes were designed to work in perfect harmony with one another out of reverence and love for Christ.  However there’s the danger of men not understanding their wives spiritually, therefore, not appreciating the place their wives have in their lives.

Submission isn’t for women only. As I compare the life I lived before Christ entered my heart to the life I live today the biggest change I’ve notice is my submissive attitude toward my wife. For knowing when to offer advice or to simply listening. Listening is spiritual. I learned it’s okay for me to follow my wives advice sometimes and it doesn’t make me less of a man when I do.

But God said to him, “Do not be so distressed about the boy and your maidservant. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.” ( Genesis 21:12)

Like I said in my earlier post men understand that the Bible says “Wives submit to your husbands,” but the scripture before this reads in Ephesians 5:21, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

Our job as husbands is to lead our wives out of LOVE not demands.

Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make holy, cleaning her by the washing with water through the word.” (Ephesians 5:25-26)

Christ dies for the church so we husbands must live for our wives with this same type of love; dying to ourselves daily for them. Dying to self is SUBMITTING.  Our job is not to MAKE our wives submit it’s their choice and their responsibility. Theirs the ones who have to answer God about submitting on judgment day.

Women have a God-given instinct to look for strength and guidance in a man, and if he doesn’t display these two qualities then a woman won’t follow him. So if a husband’s wife isn’t submitting, he shouldn’t force his will on her, rather he should look to God for guidance because his wife not submitting says a lot about his spiritual leadership.

God put our wives in our lives to help us grow spiritually. Most of the problems and complaints I have about Nicole can only be dealt with spiritually out of love.

Like most men, my number one complaint about my wife was she nags too much. At first this use to bother me because I wasn’t filled with the Spirit. In other words, I wasn’t mature enough spiritually. A man being spiritually fit is able to deal with a woman.

“Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. (Ephesians 5:18)

As I grew spiritually my reactions and attitude toward my wife changed. I started to practice spiritual principles of tolerance, faith, open-mindedness, patience, compassion, empathy, and courage. Nicole still nags, but it doesn’t bother me as much because I learned to accept her complaining as Job accepted the complaining of his wife. Acceptance is spiritual, a form of love and submitting.

Men pride and insecurities gives women little change in being themselves as human being or as spiritual being. They must understand wives have the rights to challenge them and not just give because he’s their husband especially if he’s not following God.

It’s essential that husbands realize that every time they submit to God’s leadership, and submit to the spiritual principles that’s in the Bible, they’re submitting to their wives out of love. Loving your wife is submitting.







Categories: Marriage, Spirituality

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2 replies

  1. Dear Vernon, you are certainly not from Mars but heaven-sent! This article needs to be read before marriage; a lot of misunderstanding about submission is destroying lives. I personally stopped commenting on posts that are about marriages because I know people suffering from what can only be called mental and sometimes physical abuse in the name of submission. It does upset me when christians throw rules and regulations at you without compassion and insight into what some people are enduring. There is too much focus on power play; we get married because we fall in love and love gives and cares but not at any cost! Certainly not at the expense of losing your dignity or self worth. Love protects; no man should treat his wife less than her father would treat her. When a man loves a woman, he is supposed to make her feel like a queen. Then, she would even go to the ends of the earth him. See why I don’t like this topic Vernon…it makes me go on and on! Love to Nicole! Stay blessed!

  2. It’s one of those topics I had to ask God to lead me on Funmi. I remember praying to God asking Him how can I get Nicole to submit to me and He said YOU can’t but I CAN! He wanted me to submit to her by being a courageous leader. God uses our wives a lot to see if we will humble ourselves and take their advice. Great leaders listen to their wives. Submission is a painful word among Christians and don’t too many preacher preach on this topic causing a lot of suffering in the families because of the misunderstanding of how it’s applied. I believe if men learn to just follow God’s lead and love their wives, submission won’t be an issue. Thanks for sharing Funmi!

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